Strong Exterior

Here's the definition of strong:

1.
having, showing, or able to exert great bodily or muscularpower; physically vigorous or robust 
2.
accompanied or delivered by great physical, mechanical,etc., power or force
3.
mentally powerful or vigorous
4.
especially able, competent, or powerful in a specific field orrespec
5.
of great moral power, firmness, or courage

Okay, when one shows strength on that outside, it's to get you through a difficult situation. Another person makes fun of you, they hurt your feelings, they put you down. You have to go through life pushing it all aside and keeping your head held high. Such things are merely just words, you know who you truly are, and you know what your value is. No one should be able to get you down, especially because you have God on your side.  You have a strong exterior and you get through life, and people saying, 'there's nothing that can get you down'

But now tell me, what's going on inside? How are you dealing with this unfairness mentally? Are you still mentally strong? Are you hurting? Are you smiling and full of brightness? Are you beaten up? Do you dwell? Or do you live life to the fullest, today is a new day? Think about it.

The beginning of a nasty situation that seems unsettling, I may easily brush it off just because I deal with a lot of sh!t at work and you can't let those things get to you. But outside of work with family, and friends, I'm emotionally shot. In the beginning, I'll laugh or brush it off, 'pish posh non sense', but after awhile it'll eat me away. Other times, I'll be hella pissed and show off this "strong" who gives a crap about you attitude, but I'm dying crying on the inside. When I'm hurt, I'm really hurt.

When the situation happened, I was so mad, but I was told I need to be nice, I need to put on a happy face and don't let things like that get to me. I did what I was said. Yes, I was mad but mostly importantly hurt and disappointed that I only took it upon myself. "It's because I don't hang out as much." "It's because I have a bad attitude." "It's because I'm not nice and friendly like everyone." I'm trying hard to love, be a part of everyone and show my efforts. Efforts come and go because it takes two to tango. (It's hard when you try and you get nothing back) It goes back to this, I'll never forget what happened. I'm in awe, and shocked about it. At times, I feel like I'll never be able to forgive or even forgive myself...

Comments

  1. ZuyenAugust 30, 2011 at 3:40 PM

    What happened? And you are definitely right, it takes two to have a relationship. It can't be one sided.

    ReplyDelete
  2. sillysarahhhhAugust 30, 2011 at 6:43 PM

    This is more about friendships rather than relationships.

    ReplyDelete

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