Struggle: Patience
Isn't it strange that the happy outgoing folk are also broken on the inside? It's like we put up this facade of HOW people see us and HOW people have SEEN us, that we HAVE to be happy or joyful to show that we're not broken. We're broken in sin but not that bad? But it's because we have this perspective of how people view us that we can't show that we are truly broken. How do we become vulnerable to those that have never seen us vulnerable besides best friends and God himself? [I understand we all have struggles. We all deal with them differently. Some are stronger than others, some don't even know they are struggling, some have a great community to run to to lift them up] I'm just saying the ones who show they are happy, rarely get questioned a genuine "How are you?" because when we see them we don't think it's necessary. But we all need to worry about each other, show our love by understanding each others lives. When listening to others it's NOT about you, it's about them and how they are. Don't ask people how they are just so they can ask you and talk about yourself.
Part of being a Life Group Shepard consist of someone who is committed to the group and the people in the group by showing up and willingness to be there. Someone who TRULY cares about others and is willing to walk with imperfect people (caring, it's about the people, prayers, continue the Spiritual pulse of life, love for people). Someone who facilitate conversations not teach the word to them but encourage.
We all need to be a LIFE Shepard to one another.
There is a huge brokenness that has been on my heart for the last few days. I should not be treating people the way I have been and I should not have the attitude that I've been having. I'm reverted back to being annoyed at everything, losing patience, and just being very short with people. I feel I'm reverting back to being an very angry person, a short tempered friend, and a screaming daughter. I haven't done those exact attitudes but just being short with people and have not having patience is a huge struggle right now.
A message at RockHarbor spoke of being humble, being more like-minded to Jesus and trying to be more like Him. And you know what sucks is that I don't feel like I'm ever going to feel that and I don't think anyone would ever see me as glorifying or living out my life for Christ. I feel my NO patience is affecting how people see me and do not want to be my friend.
My recent text to a friend: "My life is a mess, at times stressful, and I realized I have horrible patience, I've very short with others, show my frustration on my sleeves when I'm stressed. Seems like people don't like me when it is and I don't want people to hate me but they do and they don't treat me the same as I am a bad person I don't like the feeling. I don't know how to redeem myself when things like that happen. Like I feel they will see me like that forever. The attitude I have does NOT glorify God at all."
My goal in life use to be having a great career and starting a family. But for the last couple years my true success and goal in life is to start my own preschool for low income families and possibly high income families. Or even start my own non-profit organization that does a lot for local communities but at the same time send others to other countries. Anything that would help others, benefit others as well as benefit the people that are lending a hand to them. My biggest struggle is patience and taking a moment to step back from the craziness and admire the beauty of life rather than stress more about the situation. Just to step back and take a deep breath. Trust God that He has taken care of me. Knowing the work being done is good because of Him and still showing love and kindness within the chaos. How will I start my goal if I don't have any patience? What kind of person could start a company with lack of it? Who would ever want to work with someone like that? Where the head of the company is not even likable? ....
We walk around thinking "I need to live a life that is glorifying to God." We need to make sure all of our actions (community services, evangelism etc) are all glorifying to Him. But have you ever thought that your ATTITUDE, the way you talk, the way you joke, the way you get upset, your thoughts... are they glorifying to God? My lack of patience and short temperament is NOT glorifying to God in any way.. And this breaks me down. I pray for God to continue to work on me, to change my heart. But not to change the hearts of others to understand what I am going through, not to change others to understand that's who I am, not to change others hearts to walk on egg shells when they are around me. I do not want anyone to see me as this. And this is what is difficult. How do I come back from being short-tempered? How do I show people that I'm better than that? How do I make others see Christ through me that is glorifying to Him?
Part of being a Life Group Shepard consist of someone who is committed to the group and the people in the group by showing up and willingness to be there. Someone who TRULY cares about others and is willing to walk with imperfect people (caring, it's about the people, prayers, continue the Spiritual pulse of life, love for people). Someone who facilitate conversations not teach the word to them but encourage.
We all need to be a LIFE Shepard to one another.
There is a huge brokenness that has been on my heart for the last few days. I should not be treating people the way I have been and I should not have the attitude that I've been having. I'm reverted back to being annoyed at everything, losing patience, and just being very short with people. I feel I'm reverting back to being an very angry person, a short tempered friend, and a screaming daughter. I haven't done those exact attitudes but just being short with people and have not having patience is a huge struggle right now.
A message at RockHarbor spoke of being humble, being more like-minded to Jesus and trying to be more like Him. And you know what sucks is that I don't feel like I'm ever going to feel that and I don't think anyone would ever see me as glorifying or living out my life for Christ. I feel my NO patience is affecting how people see me and do not want to be my friend.
My recent text to a friend: "My life is a mess, at times stressful, and I realized I have horrible patience, I've very short with others, show my frustration on my sleeves when I'm stressed. Seems like people don't like me when it is and I don't want people to hate me but they do and they don't treat me the same as I am a bad person I don't like the feeling. I don't know how to redeem myself when things like that happen. Like I feel they will see me like that forever. The attitude I have does NOT glorify God at all."
My goal in life use to be having a great career and starting a family. But for the last couple years my true success and goal in life is to start my own preschool for low income families and possibly high income families. Or even start my own non-profit organization that does a lot for local communities but at the same time send others to other countries. Anything that would help others, benefit others as well as benefit the people that are lending a hand to them. My biggest struggle is patience and taking a moment to step back from the craziness and admire the beauty of life rather than stress more about the situation. Just to step back and take a deep breath. Trust God that He has taken care of me. Knowing the work being done is good because of Him and still showing love and kindness within the chaos. How will I start my goal if I don't have any patience? What kind of person could start a company with lack of it? Who would ever want to work with someone like that? Where the head of the company is not even likable? ....
We walk around thinking "I need to live a life that is glorifying to God." We need to make sure all of our actions (community services, evangelism etc) are all glorifying to Him. But have you ever thought that your ATTITUDE, the way you talk, the way you joke, the way you get upset, your thoughts... are they glorifying to God? My lack of patience and short temperament is NOT glorifying to God in any way.. And this breaks me down. I pray for God to continue to work on me, to change my heart. But not to change the hearts of others to understand what I am going through, not to change others to understand that's who I am, not to change others hearts to walk on egg shells when they are around me. I do not want anyone to see me as this. And this is what is difficult. How do I come back from being short-tempered? How do I show people that I'm better than that? How do I make others see Christ through me that is glorifying to Him?
WHAT DO YOU STRUGGLE WITH?
Karrynn: Blessed to come across with your blog.
ReplyDeleteI share the same sentiments. I have a friend who took us ten years of praying until she finally turned around, and started living for Christ. I myself is a work in progress. Tons of work i gotta say. I... grow and grow and then slack off..and i get frustrated seeing myself go thru that cycle. But my confidence is in God and this verse in Philippians 1:6 "be confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." GBU S. :)